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Biff Simpson's Stoopid Web Site

Lights come up to show two people sitting on a park bench,

Person 1: And so Jerry says... (stops talking, noticing that
person #2 is vigorously scratching his ear) Whats

Person 2: Its this darn itchy ear. Its always acting up and
nothing seems to help.

Person 1: I know. I had the same problem until I started using
Parixodon. (Holds up a bottle).

Person 2: Paroxidon? I thought that you could only get that by
prescription. Does it work?

Person 1: Does it? You bet.

Announcer: Thats right. Paroxidon is now available in full
prescription strength right here in the United States.
Only one drop a day and you can be rid of the
heartbreak of IE.

Person 1 and 2: IE?

Announcer: Itchy ear.

(Person 1 and 2 nod, smile and pan to the audience, holding the

Announcer: Dont put off your chance for a full and itch-free
life another minute. Ask your doctor about Paroxidon

(Person 1 and 2 nod again)

Announcer: Paroxidons side effects may include weight loss,
shortness of breath, diaherrea, bad breath, numbness
in hands, teeth and tongue, flatulence...

(Person 1 and two look at each other)

Announcer: ...nearsightedness, psoriasis, hangnail, vertigo,

(Person 1 and 2 rise and walk off stage, dropping the bottle)

Announcer: ...hives, athletes foot, reddened eyes and painful
rectal itch. Take control of your life. Take
Paroxidon today.