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Biff Simpson's Stoopid Web Site
Your new name

Children laugh 146 times a day, adults laugh only 4 times a day.....
no wonder we're so unhappy...

Sometimes when you have a stressful day or week, you need some silliness to break up the day. Here is your dose... Follow the
instructions to find your new name. The following in an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of
Professor Poopypants" by Dave Pilkey. The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...

Use the third letter of your first name to determine your New first name:

a = poopsie
b = lumpy
c = buttercup
d = gidget
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = fluffy
h = cheeseball
i = chim-chim
j = stinky
k = flunky
l = boobie
m = pinky
n = zippy
o = goober
p = doofus
q = slimy
r = loopy
s = snotty
t = tulefel
u = dorkey
v = squeezit
w = Oprah
x = skipper
y = dinky
z = zsa-zsa

Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = apple
b = toilet
c = giggle
d = burger
e = girdle
f = barf
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = cootie
j = monkey
k = potty
l = liver
m = banana
n = rhino
o = bubble
p = hamster
q = toad
r = gizzard
s = pizza
t = gerbil
u = chicken
v = pickle
w = chuckle
x = tofu
y = gorilla
z = stinker

Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = head
b = mouth
c = face
d = nose
e = tush
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = butt
l = brain
m = tushie
n = chunks
o = hiney
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = buns
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = kisser
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = brains
z = juice

For example, George W. Bush's new name is Goober Chickenshorts. Now when you SEND THIS ON ... use your new name as the subject. And
remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day.

Put more laughter in your life!!!

Be sure to put YOUR NEW NAME in the subject line